Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A shoulder to lean on

I understand that everyone's lives continue on, but it's so hard feeling like Evangeline is forgotten. If she were here people would be asking about her and wanting to see pictures. Since she's not here nobody ever talks about her. At times I feel like people intentionally pretend she didn't exist... to make it easier on themselves so they aren't uncomfortable, and because they think it's easier on me to not talk about her.

This past week was six months since we lost Evangeline and it was an incredibly hard milestone for me. On top of missing my baby I felt completely alone. I had an awful day at work and nobody really checked in to see if I was ok. I know it's nobody's responsibility to do so... I guess I was just hoping for someone's support.

And then, when I thought that I should just get over it, and nobody cared... I received a package on my doorstep, sent with love from across the country. A friend I've never met in person (we met online 5 years ago when we were both pregnant with our first babies) became my shoulder to lean on. This beautiful person anticipated that the six month mark might be a difficult one for me. She sent a beautiful photo that she photographed and put Evangeline's name on, and a batch of homemade cookies. Her note simply said "Thinking of you all." but those simple words meant more than anyone will ever know. I cried. But my tears were tears of joy. The pain of losing my daughter was acknowledged and I wasn't alone in my pain. I felt like someone was holding my hand and missing her too.

Thank you Hannah for lifting me back up on a day that I was so far down in my grief. I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful friend.

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