I attended a catholic high school and can vividly remember sitting in theology class my sophomore year. My teacher, our priest, was talking about the importance of baptism. He explained the sacrament and then went on to explain the thought that babies who aren't baptized do not go to heaven, but instead go to a place called limbo... There is happiness in limbo, but no presence of Jesus like in heaven. Then he talked about how people who have never heard of Jesus or religion could still go to heaven on the premise that if they would have been baptized had they known of religion and baptism, then they can be saved and go to heaven.
My hand shot up in the air. "Father, that makes no sense. You're saying that little babies who aren't baptized go to limbo, but adults who don't know about religion can go to heaven if they would've been baptized had they known about it.... Maybe those babies would've been baptized had they known about baptism too. Why should they not be sent to heaven too?"
He stopped and stood deep in thought for a few minutes, then said, "You know what Robyn, you're right. It really doesn't make much sense when you think about it like that..."
I don't really remember what else was said but I remember that part so clearly.
Looking back I like to think that somehow I was defending my daughter. Evangeline was not baptized before she died; she died before she was born. Why should she be denied heaven? I'm so glad I wasn't afraid to question it. Now I can at least feel like I stood up for her and all little babies.
In the hospital, after she was born sleeping we did have her baptized. We held her as the holy water was poured over her head, hugged her, kissed her, and cried. This was not because we thought she wouldn't go to heaven without it. Honestly, for me, a big part of it was because I felt she still deserved the attention and love she would have gotten had she been born alive.
After I graduated from high school the Catholic Church rejected the idea of limbo altogether, and I'm so glad they did. No parent with a broken heart from losing their child should be made to believe their child can't go to heaven.