Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The day my heart broke

My husband and I decided early on in our pregnancy that we didn't want to know if our baby was a boy or girl. We wanted to look forward to the surprise of finding out when our child was born.

On May 7, at 37 weeks pregnant, we would finally find out....

The moment my child was born nobody yelled "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!". Our baby was immediately placed on a bed while a nicu team ran into the room. We waited 20 agonizing minutes while the nicu team tried with all their might to save our baby. " Keep doing CPR, I need Epi! How much time?" The neonatologist yelled.  Finally the doctor came over and said, "I'm sorry. She didn't make it." 

SHE. We had a baby girl. My daughter had a baby sister. A baby sister she would never hold or play with.... Our sweet baby didn't make it. 

How is this possible?

My sweet Evangeline didn't have the chance to take one breath. Not one. She passed away in the warmth of my womb before birth. 

In the blink of an eye, our day went from what we thought would be one of the happiest days of our lives to the deepest pit of sadness we could ever reach. This blog is my journey through a struggle no parent should ever have to face, losing their child.

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