Tuesday, December 3, 2013

A belated Thanksgiving

On Thanksgiving I was bitter, sad and downright angry... But today I had an uplifting moment and wanted to acknowledge a few things I am thankful for in the midst of my sadness...

First, I am thankful to be Evangeline's mom. I held Evangeline her whole life. She was wanted and loved from the very beginning. Although I wish the outcome was different, I was reminded today that sometimes an opportunity is more important than the outcome. I had the opportunity to carry her and be her mom and I always will be her mom. She is my shining star and I am so honored to be her mom. I do still miss you dearly little girl, and I always will, but even though I will miss all of your milestones, I am still thankful to have had you, even just for a moment.

I am also thankful for the family and friends who have loved and supported us through our loss. Your love and willingness to listen has helped to give me a hand to pull me back out of that pit of despair and steady my steps. I'm sure it may be difficult to relate if you haven't been in my shoes, but please know I truly appreciate your willingness to try to understand where I am coming from.

I am deeply thankful for all of the wonderful, loving people I have met in my life because of Evangeline. There are so many lovely moms and dads I would never have met if it weren't for Evangeline. And even though I wish we all met under much different circumstances I take comfort in knowing that our beautiful, deeply missed babies brought us together.

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