My shoes

Dear friend,

You will never fully understand the pain I am experiencing... The sleepless nights without a baby to make them feel worth it, the constant battle of blaming myself, the "what ifs", and even the struggle to crawl out of bed some mornings... You will never fully understand this pain, unless you experience it for yourself. Think of the worst pain you can imagine... And multiply that by a million.

For that reason, I hope you never fully understand this pain. I hope you are able to live your life blissfully happy, completely unaware as to how cruel it is to be forced to live without your baby. Comments from people who have never walked in these shoes sometimes hurt me, but I will endure that pain a million times over if it keeps you from fully understanding. As much as it hurts to sometimes feel so alone on this journey, I take comfort in knowing that my feeling alone means that you don't have to feel this way too.

But please know if now, or in the future you ever stumble into the unfortunate circumstances of truly understanding this pain I will always be here with open arms to assure you that you aren't alone, ears to listen to your deepest thoughts and fears, and an aching heart for not only my baby but also yours...

Your friend

Ps. Thank you for at least being there for me and trying to understand.