Sunday, July 7, 2013

2 months

Dear Evangeline,

Today marks two months since I gave birth to you and learned we lost you... And I subsequently lost all of the dreams I had for you. It's been a rough two months, but I want you to know that all of the pain I have endured has been worth it. You were worth every single tear... And the reason that I cry is because I love you that much. I would do anything to have you here, but since that's not possible I want you to know that I'm so grateful for the time I had with you and even if I couldn't change the outcome I would still choose to be your mom all over again even if it meant I would lose you.

There are so many reasons why you are special. I have met so many lovely people who I wouldn't have met if you didn't exist. There are so many wonderful organizations that have touched my life because of you. And most of all I have such a beautiful understanding of just how precious each day is because of you. You, my little girl, have had a bigger impact on your momma's life in the short time I had with you than all of the other people I have encountered combined.

My world fell to darkness when I lost you, but little by little I'm discovering new rays of light. But please don't take this as me getting over losing you. That will never happen. I'm just learning to survive each day and find the beauty in what I do have, I'll never again take what I have for granted.

I hope you know just how loved you are.You were created because of the love between me and your Daddy. We loved you and longed for you from the very beginning. I think of you every morning when I wake up and every evening when I go to bed. I talk to you throughout the day and see little reminders of you in everything.

I love you forever and ever.


Ps. Please visit me in my dreams


  1. I have cherished all your posts especially this one. The love you all have for each other is the most beautiful strand in the tapestry of many colors your life has put together. I am thankful you are willing to share some of what you are experiencing, not just for those of us who read your blog, but also for yourself to help with your healing and something to always be able to reflect on. Thank you for sharing in such a beautiful way. Love you all very much. Dawn

  2. I love that you 'see little reminders of her in everything' I do for Nora too. It's like little gifts from them. Thanks for sharing on Linky Love Letters to Our Children Gone to Soon. Feel free to post in the future on other letters.